Suedah Shlishit is sponsored by the Kirschenbaum family on the yahrzeit of Hymie s mother, ע ה בת שבתי.חנה May her neshama have an aliyah.

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1 בס ד נא לא לדבר בשעת התפילה PLEASE NO CONVERSATION DURING SERVICES WEEKDAY DAVENING INFORMATION שבת פרשת צו/שבת הגדול SHABBAT PARSHAT TZAV SHABBAT HAGADOL 8 NISAN/MARCH 24 Haftorah is Malachi 3:4-24 (repeating verse 23)..צדקתך צדק or א ל מלא,אב הרחמים Don t say Final time for Kiddush Levanah of Nissan is Thursday, March 29 (14 Nisan), but if necessary even on the first night of Pesach or second night of Pesach until 10:15 AM. FRIDAY NIGHT CANDLE LIGHTING - 6:54 PM MINCHA - 7:00 PM TZAIT - 7:57 PM SATURDAY HASHKAMA/YOUTH - 8:20 AM CHUMASH SHIUR - 8:30 AM SHACHARIT MAIN - 9:00 AM LAST KRIAT SHEMA - 9:58 AM GEMARA SHIUR - NISAN HIATUS MINCHA - 6:40 PM SHKIA - 7:13 PM MAARIV/HAVDALAH - 7:58 PM CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM SADDLE RIVER ROAD FAIR LAWN, NJ BULLETIN INFORMATION TO REQUEST A BULLETIN ANNOUNCEMENT (BY 7:00 PM WEDNESDAY) OR DEDICATE A BULLETIN FOR $36 ($54 W/PHOTO), SEPLOTNICK@GMAIL.COM Sunday (3/25) Monday (3/26) Tuesday (3/27) Wednesday (3/28) Thursday (3/29) Friday (3/30) Earliest Talit 5:55 AM 5:54 AM 5:52 AM 5:50 AM 5:48 AM 5:47 AM Shacharit 8:15 AM 6:15 AM 6:25 AM 6:25 AM 6:15 AM 6:25 AM Gedolah 1:34 PM 1:34 PM 1:33 PM 1:33 PM 1:33 PM 1:33 PM Mincha - Maariv 7:00 PM 7:00 PM 7:00 PM 7:00 PM 7:00 PM 7:00 PM Shkia 7:14 PM 7:15 PM 7:16 PM 7:17 PM 7:18 PM Tzait 7:59 PM 8:00 PM 8:01 PM 8:02 PM 8:03 PM Kiddsuh is sponsored by Steve Winchester in honor of Shelly s 60th birthday, and in further honor of Elana s engagement to Dan Miller. Mazel tov! Thank you to the following families for being contributors towards the Shabbat Hagadol kiddush/meal: Brenenson, Farajun, Garfunkel, Goldberg, Gorelick, Greenbaum, Greene, Katter, Melanie Kwestel, Plotnick, Racenstein Riskin, Sonnenblick, Spier, Seymour Wigod and Winchester. Suedah Shlishit is sponsored by the Kirschenbaum family on the yahrzeit of Hymie s mother, ע ה בת שבתי.חנה May her neshama have an aliyah. We are saddened to inform you of the passing of Harvey Schachter ע ה, beloved father of Jonathan Schachter. המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים (1) Shabbat Hagadol Drasha, this Shabbat at 12:00 PM, "Pouring Out Your Grapes of Wrath: What the Haggadah Wants You To Know Beyond the Exodus". (2) Clean out your tallit bag & pews for our Pesach preparation. (3) Hagolas Kelim/Pesach Kashering, 9 AM-11 AM, Sun., Mar. 25, at the shul. (4) Time for Bedikat Chametz is Thursday, March 29, after 8:03 PM. (5) Siyum Bechorim by Barry Weinraub, Fri., March 30, after Shacharit. (6) Last time to eat Chometz is on Friday, March 30, 10:54 AM. (7) Last time to possess Chometz is Friday, March 30, 11:57 AM. (8) Chometz burning at the home of Elliot Hershkowitz, Jasper Rd., Friday, 8 AM to 11 AM. No lulav burning or plastic (so plan accordingly). (9) Give your generous Maot Chittim contributions to the Rabbi or by mail to Eli Greenbaum, 16 Aberdeen Pl., Fair Lawn, NJ Rabbi Ely Shestack "1 President Aryeh Brenenson

2 Kiddush Information If you are around when the Rabbi says your assistance in, על המחיה clean up would be appreciated. Kiddush setup for this Shabbat: Greenbaum, Joseph, Wechsler Kiddush setup for next Shabbat: N/A To sponsor a Kiddush ($1000/$613/$318 plus scotch) send an to gplotnick@aol.com. Adult Education CHUMASH CLASS - Shabbat morning before Shacharit. GEMARA SHIUR - One hour before Mincha, through the first Shabbat in November. DAYTIME TORAH VOYAGES - Thursdays at 2:00 PM. FUNDAMENTALS OF JEWISH THOUGHT - After Kiddush. PEREK ON THE LAWN, Pirkei Avot Periodic Shiur. Points To Ponder (Answers Below) (2nd) What two principles about kashering utensils do we learn from the Torah in this aliyah? (3rd) Where did Hashem teach Moshe the laws of the korbanot? (6th) What are all the places that Moshe put the blood of the inaugural offering brought by Aaron? (6th) Bonus: why these areas? Answers to Points To Ponder (2nd) 1. That earthenware can't be kashered, but metal can; 2. Things are kashered in a way that parallels their usage "k'bolo kach polto", lit. as they absorb so do they release. So the metal dishes are kashered in boiling water and rinse, since that is how they absorbed the taste (3rd) On Mt. Sinai (6th) On the middle part of his right ear, on his right thumb and his right big toe. ע ה Gita Cooperwasser Youth Program Please contact Melanie at mkwestel@gmail.com and volunteer to host Chad (our Youth Director) for shabbat and/or meals. Youth groups begin at 10:00 AM. Tot Shabbat in the playroom. Parents, ensure that your children are in groups or with you at all times. NO FOOD DURING GROUPS! PARENTS, THERE WILL BE A SPECIAL YOUTH PROGRAM DURING THE SHABBAT HAGADOL DRASHA. Community Events Apr. 22 Paint Night with PAINT WITH ME!, and meet your inner artist. Perfect for beginners and more advanced artists, and go home with a painting to be proud of. Refreshments will be served. DARCHEI NOAM, Sunday night, 7:45 10:00 PM. Cost is $45 per person ($36 if RSVP received by March 30). RSVP to darcheinoam.com/event/paint-night. May 6 Ladies' Boutique. Shop from small businesses and local vendors while supporting the Yoetzet Halacha Program of Fair Lawn. 10+ vendors, raffle prizes, and dessert. Sponsorship opportunities available. DARCHEI NOAM, Sunday night, 6:30 9:30 PM. For more info, click here: Ladies Night. Pack 613 Meeting Dates Apr. 22 (or 29): 3 PM - 6 PM May 13: 4:30-5:30 PM June 17: 4:30-6 PM Ahavat Achim Future Events Mar Hagolas Kelim/Pesach Kashering, 9:00 AM - 11 AM, at the shul Mar Chometz burning at Elliot Hershkowitz s home, Jasper Rd., 8:00 AM to 11:00 AM. No lulav burning. Apr Pre-Yom Haatzmaut Scholar- In-Residence Shabbaton Apr Men s Club trip to National Museum of American Jewish History Apr Youth Taking Over - Part 2, for the Sharsheret Pink Seudat Shelishit, sponsored by Kira, Andrew & Cayleb Wigod. Wear your finest pink clothes and listen to our youth talk about the importance of random acts of kindness in honor of Sharsheret. Apr Board Meeting (Tentative) Apr TABC Alumni Reunion Apr Journal Dinner May 19 - Suedah Shlishit sponsored by Eli Zezon in memory of Shlomo ע ה Ben שלמה בן אליהו זזון נלב"ע ז) Eliyahu (סיון תשס ד May 23 - Board Meeting (Tentative) June 2 - Suedah Shlishit is sponsored by Eli Zezon in memory of Baroch ברוך מפציר בן) Ben Samuel ע ה Mafzir (שמואל נלב"ע כ"ד סיון תשנ ט Rabbi Available to Sell Chometz March 24: 8:15-9:00 PM, or later by appointment Mar. 25: 9:00-10:00 AM, 7:30-8:00 PM March 26: 7:30-8:00 PM March 28: 7:30-8 PM, or later by appt. March 29-3:00 PM (last chance) You can help Ahavat Achim's finances and it won't cost you a cent! Just make your regular Amazon purchases via this link: After a one-time set up designating Congregation Ahavat Achim of Fair Lawn as your preferred charity, nothing more for you to do except make your regular Amazon purchases. Amazon will donate 0.5% of the price of your eligible AmazonSmile purchases to Ahavat Achim. AmazonSmile is the same Amazon you know. Same products, same prices, same service. Shirley Vann has dedicated this week s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission. ע ה of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchok "2

3 CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM and RELIGIOUS ZIONISTS OF AMERICA are proud to announce a Scholar-in-Residence Shabbaton celebrating 70 years of the State of Israel Rabbi David Brofsky Rabbi David Brofsky is an author and educator. He has taught Talmud and halacha in yeshivas and seminaries in Israel, including Yeshivat Har Etzion and Michlelet Mevaseret Yerushalyim. He is currently a senior faculty member at Midreshet Lindenbaum, teaches in Midreshet Torah V Avodah, and writes a halacha shiur for the Virtual Beit Midrash (VBM). Rabbi Brofsky is the author of Hilchot Tefilla: A Comprehensive Guide to the Laws of Daily Prayer, Hilchot Moadim: Understanding the Laws of the Festivals, and an upcoming book on the laws of mourning. He studied at Yeshiva University and Yeshivat Har Etzion. He lives in Alon Shevut, Gush Etzion with his wife, Mali, and their four children. SHABBAT PARASHAT SHEMINI APRIL 13-14, 2018 For more details about the program and sponsorship opportunities, please visit or call SUPPORT YOUR SHUL Donate a Sefer, etc. The shul has Siddurim & Machzorim ($36) and Chumashim ($54) available to be donated. Please contact Jeff Safier at robynsafier@gmail.com for details. Yahrzeit Plaques Memorialize a loved one with a plaque for $300 for members and $450 for nonmembers. We will also endeavor to send you written notice of an upcoming yahrzeit, mention your loved one s name during the public Yizkor and list the yahrzeit in the Bulletin once a year. For more information, Larry at lardavbern@gmail.com. Scrip Scrip is available from Men s Club. David at dmgarfunkel@gmail.com. Pay using Paypal (treasurer@ahavatachim.org) or use Discover, MasterCard or Visa - treasurer@ahavatachim.org for details. Mishebayrach If you ve made a Mishebayrach you ve pledged to give Tzedakah on behalf of those for whom you asked Hashem's blessing. Contributions to the shul are appropriate and can be made via Paypal to treasurer@ahavatachim.org, or via MasterCard, Visa or Discover by sending info to Steve Winchester (contact him at treasurer@ahavatachim.org). If by check indicate on its face Aliyah Donation. David Schwitzer ע ה Social Hall Please contact Ben Lang at bmmnpl@aol.com to book the David Schwitzer ע ה Social Hall for an event or special occasion. $250 per simcha (members)/$325 for Associates/$400 paid in advance for non-members, plus the cost of any additional clean up (plus a $150 security/cleaning deposit refunded when the social hall is returned in the condition it started in). Private caterers must be approved in advance by the Rabbi. Sisterhood & Men s Club Please contact Elliot Greene at egreene@acm.org to join the Men s Club. To join Sisterhood, please contact Shelly at sewinchester58@gmail.com or Renee at reneeafreund@yahoo.com. Honoraria Contributions to acquire honoraria in memory or honor of a loved one are welcome. The available Honoraria list will be provided upon request by contacting Steven Plotnick at seplotnick@gmail.com. Mitzvah Cards Want mitzvah cards, contact Eita Latkin at or parentsof3@aol.com. Cost is $3 per card. Also can be ordered in bulk - ten cards for $25, which you send out yourself privately. SUPPORT YOUR SHUL "3

4 Erev Pesach - Thursday Night, March 29 It is forbidden to eat Matzah on Erev Pesach. Thursday night, March 29, after the appearance of three stars (the Mishna in Pesachim refers to this as the "Light of the Fourteenth ). We search for chometz everywhere we bring it during the year. Someone not participating in the search places ten pieces of chometz in random locations to which we bring chometz during the year (failure to do so does not invalidate the search, but be very careful to find all אשר קדשנו במצוותיו וצונו על" ten pieces). Before the search recite the Bracha on the removal of chometz (for the search is the beginning of "ביעור חמץ the process). After the search, one declares חמירא" "כל (preferably in a language that he understands) nullifying all chometz and sourdough of which he is unaware. Erev Pesach - Friday, March 30 First born have a custom to fast, redeem themselves with money for Tzedakah, or participate in a Seudat Mitzvah such as a siyum. Chometz set aside for breakfast may be eaten until the end of the fourth proportionate hour after dawn (10:54 AM). One may sell chometz, give it away to a non- Jewish acquaintance, or feed it to an animal until the end of the fifth proportionate hour (11:57 AM). The chometz you authorized Rabbi Shestack to sell must be placed in a reserved area. The sale to the non-jew is considered part of the removal (ביעור) process. Burn the remaining chometz before the end of the fifth proportionate hour (11:57 AM) and say the formula of חמירא" "כל nullifying and making free all chometz of which we are both unaware and aware. Do not make any Bracha (one should have in mind that if the sale to the non-jew is found invalid, such Chometz too is nullified and rendered free). One washes (some immerse themselves in a Mikveh) and makes all necessary preparations in honor of Yom Tov. One must complete all of the preparations for the Seder while it is still daytime. The Romaine lettuce must be thoroughly cleansed and then carefully inspected for bugs. The horseradish must be grated. The Seder table must be completely set and arranged. All this must be done before Yom Tov. MISCELLANEOUS Ahavat Achim Membership/ Hospitality Contact Arnie at aspier@verizon.net for membership details. For Shabbat hospitality contact Melanie at mkwestel@gmail.com. Bikkur Cholim/Chesed Committee If someone needs a visit/assistance, contact Sara at saralevine06@gmail.com or Mary Lisa at kenkatter541@gmail.com. Personal Announcements Various life cycle events related to members are announced in the bulletin (e.g., births, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings and deaths, as well as travel to/from Israel to study). We also welcome new members. Other personal announcements are not appropriate except as part of the bulletin s dedication (a $36 cost - $54 with photo). Numbers & Info ERUV To subscribe for updates, fairlawneruv@groups.io. Check status at or call MIKVAH At Shomrei Torah, 9 PM 10:30 PM, Motzei Shabbat from 1¼ hours after Shabbat ends for 1½ hours. Kaylim Mikvah: Sun. 10 AM-3 PM TWITTER: AhavatAchimFL FACEBOOK: facebook.com/groups/ ahavat.achim/ INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/ ahavatachimfl/?hl=en FLICKR: flickr.com/photos/ ahavatachim/albums Shul Calendar To add events to the shul calendar Larry at lardavbern@gmail.com Shirley Vann has dedicated this week s Covenant & Conversation (used with permission. ע ה of the Office of Rabbi Sacks) in memory of her beloved mother Necha bat Yitzchok "4

5 18-25 Saddle River Road Fair Lawn, New Jersey Ely Shestack, Rabbi בס ד March 12, 2018 Dear Friends and Members, It is with great pleasure that we announce that Ahavat Achim Orthodox Congregation of Fair Lawn will hold its 40th Anniversary Journal Dinner on April 29, This year, as our shul celebrates its 40th year, we are pleased to honor Arnie and Randi Spier, a family that has been an integral part of the shul since their arrival in Fair Lawn almost three decades ago. Arnie and Randi joined our shul in Through the years, both Arnie and Randi diligently worked to better our synagogue and have served our community in many capacities. Arnie is a past President, Vice President, and has served multiple terms as a board member and has worked on numerous subcommittees. He also served on multiple Rabbi Search Committees and is currently Chairman of the Marketing Committee and is the first point of contact for our new members. Randi has served as Sisterhood Treasurer, a member of the Marketing Committee, multiple Rabbi Search Committees, and Chairwoman of the Kiddush Committee. She has served on the synagogue board for several years and has orchestrated innumerous Shabbat meals wherein the entire community gets together for relaxing evenings of good food and comradery. What many of our members view as a carefree Shabbat dinner is only possible because of the planning and tireless work that Randi does for our benefit. Arnie and Randi are the proud parents of Jeremy (and Shira) and Brett. They currently have two adorable grandchildren: Jonah and Ava. As important as it is to honor and thank our dedicated members, please remember that our Annual Dinner is our largest single fundraiser event. Anyone, who has followed the shul s finances, knows how critical the success of this dinner is to our budget. To attend the dinner, you can either solicit ads from your local merchants and family members, or you can place your personal ads totaling $400. This evening should be a celebration with 100% participation. It will be a fun night with laughter, good food and drink, where we celebrate our community and honor Arnie and Randi. Attached is an ad blank for your solicitations and personal use. If you prefer printed ad blanks, they will be available in the shul lobby or feel free to ahavatachimdinner@gmail.com). This year you can also place an ad or download the ad blank via the shul website at: ahavatachim.org/event/2018journaldinner. Remember the more ads that come in; the less follow ups you will receive. The dinner is less than 2 months away, so we need to start soliciting immediately. A separate mailing of the dinner invitation will be forthcoming. Please start soliciting ads and submit them to us (ahavatachimdinner@gmail.com) as soon as possible. Aryeh Brenenson President

6 Please check appropriate box: PARCHMENT PAGE $3600 DIAMOND PAGE $2500 PLATINUM PAGE $1800 GOLD PAGE $1000 SILVER PAGE $750 FULL PAGE $400** HALF PAGE $250 QUARTER PAGE $125 EIGHTH PAGE (business card) $75 LISTING $50 NAME ADDRESS PHONE ( ) SOLICITED BY: Make checks payable to: AHAVAT ACHIM **$400 donation entitles you to 2 reservations for the dinner** YOUR CONTRIBUTION IS TAX DEDUCTIBLE TO THE EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW TO PAY BY VISA OR MASTERCARD: Name on Card: Amount: $ ; Card #: ; Exp. Date: Sec Code: Billing Address: ; Authorized Signature: Phone #: Please return this ad blank with your check to: DAVID GARFUNKEL, LYLE TERRACE, FAIR LAWN, NJ THE FINAL AD DEADLINE IS APRIL 15, 2018 PLEASE PRINT AD CLEARLY OR ATTACH BUSINESS CARD (use a separate ad bland for each ad) Ad copy can be ed to ahavatachimdinner@gmail.com Special Recognition Pages: Children s Listing ($5 per child) Rabbi s page ($18 per family) Memorial Listing ($10 per name) Grandchildren s Listing ($5 per grandchild)

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8 CONGREGATION AHAVAT ACHIM and RELIGIOUS ZIONISTS OF AMERICA are proud to announce a Scholar-in-Residence Shabbaton celebrating 70 years of the State of Israel Rabbi David Brofsky Rabbi David Brofsky is an author and educator. He has taught Talmud and halacha in yeshivas and seminaries in Israel, including Yeshivat Har Etzion and Michlelet Mevaseret Yerushalyim. He is currently a senior faculty member at Midreshet Lindenbaum, teaches in Midreshet Torah V Avodah, and writes a halacha shiur for the Virtual Beit Midrash (VBM). Rabbi Brofsky is the author of Hilchot Tefilla: A Comprehensive Guide to the Laws of Daily Prayer, Hilchot Moadim: Understanding the Laws of the Festivals, and an upcoming book on the laws of mourning. He studied at Yeshiva University and Yeshivat Har Etzion. He lives in Alon Shevut, Gush Etzion with his wife, Mali, and their four children. SHABBAT PARASHAT SHEMINI APRIL 13-14, 2018 For more details about the program and sponsorship opportunities, please visit or call

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10 Authorization I, the undersigned, fully empower Rabbi Ely Shestack, or person designated by him, to act in my place, stead and on my behalf to sell all my chametz possessed by me knowingly or unknowingly, as defined by Torah and Rabbinic law, and to lease all places in which chametz owned by me may be found, especially at: (Address) The chametz I possess includes the following: Type of Chametz (groceries, liquor, medicine, toiletries, etc.) Where Stored Approximate Value Printed Name: Signed Date Also complete this part if you will be away all Pesach: I specifically authorize Rabbi Ely Shestack or person designated by him to sell all chametz located anywhere in my home at the above address, and to lease my entire home (except for ). The keys to my home can be found with: Name Signed: Residing at (address): Document of Sale I, the undersigned hereby sell all my chametz via Rabbi Banjamin Yudin. I also lease the place where such chametz is found at the above address(es) for a period of ten (10) days. This sales and rental are to take effect on corresponding to Nissan 5777, before. Further details concerning all of the above are recorded in the above power of attorney form and lengthier document for sale. Signed:

11 Giving Thanks Tzav 2018 / 5778 The first words we are taught to say each morning, immediately on waking, are Modeh/modah ani, I give thanks. We thank before we think. Note that the normal word order is inverted: Modeh ani, not ani modeh, so that in Hebrew the thanks comes before the I. Judaism is gratitude with attitude. And this, according to recent scientific research, really is a life-enhancing idea. The source of the command to give thanks is to be found in this week s parsha. Among the sacrifices it itemises is the korban todah, the thanksgiving offering: If he offers it [the sacrifice] as a thanksgiving offering, then along with this thanksgiving offering he is to offer unleavened loaves mixed with oil, unleavened wafers spread with oil, and loaves of fine flour well-kneaded and mixed with oil (Lev. 7:12). Though we have been without sacrifices for almost two thousand years, a trace of the thanksgiving offering survives to this day, in the form of the blessing Hagomel: Who bestows good things on the unworthy, said in the synagogue, at the time of reading of the Torah, by one who has survived a hazardous situation. This is defined by the sages (on the basis of Psalm 107), as one who has survived a sea-crossing, or travelled across a desert, or recovered from serious illness, or been released from captivity. 1 For me, the almost universal instinct to give thanks is one of the signals of transcendence 2 in the human condition. It is not just the pilot we want to thank when we land safely after a hazardous flight; not just the surgeon when we survive an operation; not just the judge or politician when we are released from 1 Berakhot 54b. 2 On this idea, see Peter Berger, A Rumor of Angels, New York, Doubleday, Giving Thanks 1! Tzav 5778

12 prison or captivity. It is as if some larger force was operative, as if the hand that moves the pieces on the human chessboard were thinking of us; as if Heaven itself had reached down and come to our aid. The almost universal instinct to give thanks is one of the signals of transcendence in the human condition. Insurance companies sometimes describe natural catastrophes as acts of God. Human emotion tends to do the opposite. 3 God is in the good news, the miraculous deliverance, the escape from catastrophe. That instinct to offer thanks to a force, a presence, over and above natural circumstances and human intervention is itself a signal of transcendence. Though not a proof of the existence of God, it is nonetheless an intimation of something deeply spiritual in the human heart. It tells us that we are not random concatenations of selfish genes, blindly reproducing themselves. Our bodies may be products of nature ( dust you are, and to dust you will return ), but there is something within us that reaches out to Someone beyond us: the soul of the universe, the Divine You to whom we offer our thanks. That is what was once expressed in the thanksgiving offering, and still is, in the Hagomel prayer. Not until the early 1990s did a major piece of medical research reveal the dramatic physical effects of thanksgiving. It became known as the Nun Study. Some 700 American nuns, all members of the School Sisters of Notre Dame in the United States, agreed to allow their records to be accessed by a research team investigating the process of ageing and Alzheimer s Disease. At the start of the study the participants were aged between 75 and What gave this study its unusual longitudinal scope is that in 1930 the nuns, then in their twenties, had been asked by the Mother Superior to write a brief autobiographical account of their life and their reasons for entering the convent. These documents were analysed by the researchers using a specially devised coding system to register, among other things, positive and negative emotions. By annually assessing the nuns current state of health, the researchers were able to test whether their emotional state in 1930 had an effect on their health some sixty years later. Because they had all lived a very similar lifestyle during these six decades, they formed an ideal group for testing hypotheses about the relationship between emotional attitudes and health. The results, published in 2001, were startling. 5 The more positive emotions contentment, gratitude, happiness, love and hope the nuns expressed in their autobiographical notes, the more likely they were to be alive and well sixty years later. The difference was as much as seven years in life expectancy. 3 Not always, of course. There was a memorable episode of The Simpsons in which Bart Simpson, before beginning his Thanksgiving meal, turns to heaven and says in place of grace, We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. 4 See Robert Emmons, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Boston: Houghton Mifflin, Danner, Deborah D., David A. Snowdon, and Wallace V. Friesen. Positive Emotions in Early Life and Longevity: Findings from the Nun Study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 80.5 (2001): Giving Thanks 2! Tzav 5778

13 So remarkable was this finding that it has led, since then, to a new field of gratitude research, as well as a deepening understanding of the impact of emotions on physical health. Since the publication of the Nun Study and the flurry of further research it inspired, we now know of the multiple effects of developing an attitude of gratitude. It improves physical health and immunity against disease. Grateful people are more likely to take regular exercise and go for regular medical check-ups. Thankfulness reduces toxic emotions such as resentment, frustration and regret and makes depression less likely. It helps people avoid over-reacting to negative experiences by seeking revenge. It even tends to make people sleep better. It enhances self-respect, making it less likely that you will envy others for their achievements or success. Grateful people tend to have better relationships. Saying thank you enhances friendships and elicits better performance from employees. It is also a major factor in strengthening resilience. One study of Vietnam War Veterans found that those with higher levels of gratitude suffered lower incidence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Remembering the many things we have to be thankful for helps us survive painful experiences, from losing a job to bereavement. 6 Jewish prayer is an ongoing seminar in gratitude. Birkot ha-shachar, the Dawn Blessings said at the start of morning prayers each day, are a litany of thanksgiving for life itself: the human body, the physical world, land to stand on and eyes to see with. Gratitude also lies behind a fascinating feature of the Amidah. When the leader of prayer repeats the Amidah aloud, we are silent other than for the responses of Kedushah, and saying Amen after each blessing, with one exception. When the leader says the words Modim anachnu lakh, We give thanks to You, the congregation says the a parallel passage known as Modim de-rabbanan. For every other blessing of the Amidah, it is sufficient to assent to the words of the leader by saying Amen. The one exception is Modim, We give thanks. Rabbi Elijah Spira ( ) in his work Eliyahu Rabbah, 7 explains that when it comes to saying thank you, we cannot delegate this away to someone else to do it on our behalf. Thanks has to come directly from us. Giving thanks is beneficial to the body and the soul. It contributes Hence the transformative idea: giving thanks is to both happiness and health. beneficial to the body and the soul. It contributes to both happiness and health. It is also a self-fulfilling attitude: the more we celebrate the good, the more good we discover that is worthy of celebration. This is neither easy nor natural. We are genetically predisposed to pay more attention to the bad than the good. 8 For sound biological reasons, we are hyper-alert to potential threats and dangers. It takes focussed attention to become aware of how much we have to be grateful for. 6 Much of the material in this paragraph is to be found in articles published in Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful See also Sonja Lyubomirsky, The How of Happiness, Sphere, 2007, Eliyahu Rabbah, Orach Chayyim 127:1. 8 The classic study of this is Roy Baumeister and others, Bad is stronger than good, Review of General Psychology, vol. 5, no. 4, 2001, pp Giving Thanks 3! Tzav 5778

14 That, in different ways, is the logic of prayer, of making blessings, of Shabbat, and many other elements of Jewish life. It is also embedded in our collective name. The word Modeh, I give thanks, comes from the same root as Yehudi, meaning Jew. We acquired this name from Jacob s fourth son, named by his mother Leah who, at his birth said, This time I will thank God (Gen. 29:35). Jewishness is thankfulness: not the most obvious definition of Jewish identity, but by far the most life-enhancing. Shabbat shalom, LIFE-CHANGING IDEA #24 The more you celebrate the good, the more good you discover that is worthy of celebration. Unit 1: The Way of Identity is OUT NOW! Available to all at LIFE-CHANGING IDEAS IN SEFER VAYIKRA VAYIKRA: For each of us God has a task. Discerning that task, hearing God s call, is what gives a life meaning and purpose. TZAV: The more you celebrate the good, the more good you discover that is worthy of celebration. Giving Thanks 4! Tzav 5778